Sway With Me.

2008-07-27T06:03:38Z

Today was the first Saturday in months that I've had complete freedom from work. And since I was recently forced to spend a ridiculous amount of moolah on textbooks, in addition to the not-quite-low-enough price of gasoline, I decided to make it a 'day-in.' I got the chance to spend some quality time with somebody who is very special in my life - Mr. Kitchen. We minced, we seasoned, we mixed and we baked like nobody was watching. Actually, nothing fancy - just got to try out a few recipes I've been wanting to make. These pictures are evidence that I can cook - well, at least make it look like I can cook. . .

Berry Soy Smoothie

I also spent some quality time with Mr. Television. The movie The Wedding Date was playing, starring Debra Messing. I had never seen this movie before because, well, I just didn't find a movie about a going to a wedding with a male prostitute a quality film worth watching. I ended up liking the movie. Weird. I know, the film is entirely unrealistic, but one can only hope. There must be a hot gigolo out there somewhere with a degree in comparative literature who says amazingly intelligent and romantic things! And if he does

Blueberry Coffee Cake

exist, I can't wait to have him meet my parents. "Mom, Dad . . .this is Nick. He's a male whore, we're in love and we're getting married!" So, I can't quite put my finger down on the reason I liked it. It might be the romantic quotes the main character Nick says - quotes that made me swoon inside but if uttered from the lips of a real guy speaking to me, I'd laugh in his face for a very. long. time. There was just something about the character Nick; he was so well put-together, so manly . . . suave is the word I'm looking for. Anyways, here's one of the scenes I enjoyed from the movie not only because it includes Michael Bublé's amazing version of Dean Martin's "Sway," but because it makes me want to learn how to ballroom dance and find a man who would do the same (preferably, the guy would have to be good to make me look like I know what I'm doing). The short-haired brunette in this scene is totally me - awkward goofiness and all.

The Wedding Date Sway

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I Should Be Going to Bed

2008-07-21T06:00:41Z

But instead. . . .

Things I'm not liking . . .

- Spending over $400 on textbooks for 1 semester, including discounts! Mama mia.
- Dorothy moving to Boston.
- My uncooperative jaw.

Things I'm liking. . .

A little lunch guest from today.

- Costa Rican coffee (and I don't even like coffee!)
- taking photos of people (in the non-stalking way)
- rediscovering string cheese
- this post
- baking cupcakes for any/all occasions (come on, it fits right in there with the "Three C's" of every woman's duties: cooking, cleaning, child-rearing. . . joke.)
- dresses/skirts in the summertime
- the way a bookshelf looks when it's jam-packed with literature goodies.
- crazy old people who live by the saying: "Age ain't nothin' but a number."
- real men who fight for the oppressed

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Who's that Crazy Lady?

2008-07-16T04:05:21Z

I don't know what it is (hormones) but I've been cranky these past few days. I'm easily angered (hormones), feel completely stressed out (hormones), highly irritable (hormones) and even feel a ~~little~~ lot depressed (hormones). I scared my students at work. It was like I was channeling Ms. Cross - you know, your 3rd grade teacher's assistant with the frizzy hair, gigantic stature, tacky dark red lipstick with funky body odor who always appeared just a little emotionally unstable? Also in relation, my jaw has been acting up from TMJ, hoping for an orthodontist/TMJ specialist appointment in the near health-insurance-possessing future, which kind of makes it painful to eat/talk/teach/open my mouth. . . oddly enough, it's like God's little reminder to me that I should watch what I say to others since words are much more powerful than I seem to think they are <-- this I often forget; it runs in the family.

So, following an entire day of work on Monday, I did what any responsible, 25-year-old woman who is keeping her finances in order while saving up for school would do: I went shopping. Look at all the beautiful, shallow things I bought on clearance.

Then today - *ding, ding, ding* - we have a winner!!! I figured out why I was going Britney-Spears-on-a-normal-day crazy. . .menstruation can kiss my-- shutcho' mouth!

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The Court and Curry.

2008-07-14T00:34:48Z

Random Happenings in The Land of the Free: Isn't it great that we can sue people for anything we want for any amount of money - who cares if you look absolutely retarded in the process?! Mr. I-Want-To-Sue-Someone-Else-For-My-Own-Family-Problems apparently didn't take his American government course as there's a little something called "The First Amendment" that prevents him from winning in court. No, claiming 'libel' isn't going to work, here, you can borrow my Webster's dictionary. Whoops, Mister! Looks like you just wasted thousands of dollars in attorney fees!

Random Happenings in My VitaBella: I went to an Indian wedding last night, my first one. A friend from high school got married. An Indian wedding can pretty much be summed up by the following words:

Love the traditional clothes!

curry
dancing
colors
open bar
embarrassing/inappropriate speeches

An example to support the last aspect of an Indian wedding: Said in a thick accent, "Make sure you introduce your wife to everybody you know so that WHEN you fool around, they will all go and tell her." - Speech given by the groom's father. *Note to self: book a drunk Indian to speak at my wedding when I get married in two thousand and never so that I can have quality, touching speeches like the one I heard last night.

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Why I Never Found True Love in College.

2008-07-09T01:49:15Z

Hey pretty boy, why weren't YOU my biochemistry lab partner? I'd titrate NaOH with you anyday.

Why, oh why, you may ask, did I never find true love while I was in college?! I went to a school where the ratio of guys to girls was 8 to 3. What went wrong? Example no. 354: the quality of "the pickings," evidence found here.

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A Movie Worth Watching

2008-07-04T03:27:49Z

Dan In Real Life

If you've got some extra time during this 4th of July weekend and you just want to sit back, relax, ~~rest your firework injuries~~, and watch a lil' somethin' somethin' I highly recommend "Dan in Real Life." I think this movie has been overlooked and not really appreciated. It's kind of got that indie-flick-like-Garden-State quality to it. It stars Steve Carell, but it's much unlike his other movies which means that the plot of the movie isn't "make 105 sexually crass jokes while looking like a complete imbecile."

The movie centers on family and falling in love. Since I'm a 25 year old single woman with no prospects in sight who appears to only catch the attention of high school boys (or men who act like they're still in high school) and/or losers from the city of i-am-a-male-pig, U.S.A and have a younger sister who is married and family members who constantly ask me "When's it your turn?! When's it your turn?!" because they all got married by they time they were 23 years old and they think it's really funny to ask but in actuality it's not, and my grandmother starts to question my sexuality because she thinks that since I'm still single surely I must be a lesbian!!!!! . . . (calming down) . . . I like watching movies about people who fall in love in a sweet and pure way. It makes me think of what could be in my near or oh-Lord-i-hope-it's-near-or-i'm-going-to-live-alone-forever-with-17-cats-and-i-freaking-HATE-cats future.

It's a really sweet movie and worth the rental. (The soundtrack to the movie was written by the very talented Sondre Lerche who, at the end credits of the movie, sings a nice little duet with Regina Spektor called "Modern Nature.")

"Modern Nature" - Sondre Lerche

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Booty Shorts

2008-06-23T06:52:12Z

It's 2 am. I knew I shouldn't have taken that 4 hour 'nap.' But since I'm up anyways, I figure that I should go on ahead and write a letter I've been meaning to write to someone I saw a couple of days ago.

Dear Hoochie Asian Girl In Booty Shorts,

I'm sorry American Eagle, you forgot to make room for my ASS.

Look, I know it's summer time and that means feeling like you're living under the fire of a thousand suns down here in the ATL. I get it. You've got to find ways to stay cool like drinking tons of water and wearing season-appropriate attire like tank tops or shorts. However, today (and perhaps every single day so far) you have decided to wear, not a pair of shorts, but a pair of sho-s because they're so freaking short you can't even fully call them 'shorts.'

Mom's style.

Who knows, maybe you tried your best to look for a pair of decent shorts but have been as fed up as me with the "wide variety of choices" we're given these days: extremely short, ridiculously short, your-panties-cover-more-than-these short. Of course, there are those bermuda shorts and some longer shorts that are in style these days, but there's really nothing in between. Another alternative are those awesome 'mom shorts' but I've recently decided that I'd like to find a man some day so those are completely out of the question.

Nevertheless, when your butt cheeks are hanging out from under your shorts, it's a safe bet to think that those shorts are too short. No, it's not classy, and no, exposing your butt cheeks in hot weather will not help you cool down in the hot summer sun (ok, so it might but it would also make me projectile vomit). You will, however, attract some quality men who will bark at you like a dog and exclaim in great admiration, "I'd tap dat!" Oh yeah, and when you do encounter such gentlemen, don't get all pissy and act like you're mad. You dressed yourself this morning.

The only cheeks I should see.

My shorts are longer than yours,
Monica

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Mission Mississippi

2008-06-20T04:42:28Z

Not too much happening in my bella vita these days. I've been working a lot this summer, which thankfully, is providing me with the funds I'll need to survive while enslaved within the murky, mentally draining, and dangerous depths of that which is . . . nursing school, dun dun DUN!

I went on a mission trip a couple weeks ago with my church's youth group to do some more 'Katrina clean-up.' (Years after Hurricane Katrina, people are still trying to put their lives back together.) We stayed in the city of Waveland along the Mississippi coast and helped rebuild homes. There was a lot of measuring, cutting, hanging up drywall, shoveling, digging, water fighting, and carrying of heavy objects in the hot Mississippi sun. Since I was an "adult" on the trip. . .hold on a second while I laugh. . .adult. . .hahahaha. Okay, since I was an adult on the trip some of my responsibilities were to watch out for the students making sure they were doing alright. I kinda felt like a soccer mom, nagging all the kids to remember to stay hydrated and to bathe themselves in bug spray and sunscreen. In the end, I didn't really care if the students listened to me about the sunscreen and bug spray or not because those who didn't listen to me got sunburn - boo yah! That's right, listen to me next time, suckas! (Did I mention I was one of the 'adult chaperones'???)

Not my sock tan but a great example of a ridiculously sexy one.

To sum up the week, it was amazing. The people of the town, aside from being super grateful towards us, were super country and that made things very fun. I bonded like crazy with the youth on the trip and got a good week's worth in of physical work - and not to mention, I got a nice little sock tan. What man can resist that?!

Said in the super, thick, country accent of a 4th grade girl and yes, this was an actual quote from a Mississippian:

"My mama and daddy met in a bar.

Then they got married in a bar.

I hope I wasn't born in a bar . . ."

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Anxious for August

2008-05-29T04:07:12Z

Jonas Sold Out?!

It's not even June yet and I'm eagerly anticipating the coming of August because that means I finally start nursing school. I feel like I've wasted (although, honestly, it isn't really wasted) enough years of my life already and I'm ready to start doing something that has to do with my future and my career. AKA, I'm ready to get out of debt and start making a decent living. It's okay. I'm pretty sure that at some point during the first week of school, I will post a vox where I'm whining and crying about being in school like a 13 year old girl who just started her period and found out that the Jonas Brothers concert completely sold out of tickets.

In other news . . . I was driving in my car and heard a song by the Veronicas that had me cracking up laughing while pumping my fist in the air with a 'heck yeah!' Any girl who has had her heart broken by a loser can relate to these lyrics.

the Veronicas

And you told me you needed space,

With a kiss on the side of my face,

And not to mention the tears I shed,

I should have kicked your ass instead.

- When It All Falls Apart

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Pura Vida

2008-05-16T07:30:10Z

Dear Drunk Latino on Local Bus,

Thanks for giving me and my friend a proper welcome to Costa Rica. We truly appreciate your kindness and the stench of alcohol emanating from your mouth as you proceeded to ask me my name three separate times. You truly are a winner, what with your dashing good looks and classy-looking bald head with the only hair visible being that which outlined your hairline. Please don't take offense that I didn't tell you the name of the hotel we were staying at although you asked me repeatedly as I preferred not to get kidnapped/murdered/stalked in a foreign land.

Salud,
Monica

Manuel Antonio Beach

Drunk men on buses and whistling/cat-calling aside (which happens in Costa Rica to anything that walks on 2 legs and has boobs), Costa Rica was freakin' awesome. My first time in Latin America and hopefully, not my last. We arrived in San Jose, traveled by bus four hours to the Pacific coast in the city of Quepos. Then we headed to our hotel in Manuel Antonio, directly on the beach. The landscape was beautiful, the food delicious,the people so friendly and the beaches gorgeous. We spent a lot of time on the beach, riding the waves and hiking the rainforests. My buddy Dorothy and I decided to be our goofy selves and made a parody of the show 'Lost' with my crappy digital camera. It was a perfect setting: rainforests sitting directly behind the beaches.

As is our usual habit, we did get hit on by underage boys, at least this time it was in a language other than English. P.S. had a blast getting the chance to use my wannabe-fluent spanish skills. But back to underage hotties (just kidding, not hot at all, pretty gross actually), some boys who looked like they were probably 14 years old kept commenting on our "prettiness" and asked us how old we were. I told them we were too old for them, that we were 25. Looks of surprise graced their faces as I asked one of the boys how old he was. He replied in an exaggerated, drawn-out voice as though he were making it up off the top of his head "dieci. . . . nueve." 19 years old? Total BS. Boy, I could be your mother . . . if I had gotten pregnant when I was 6 years old. . . He asked me my name, I told him I didn't have a name and said "adios."

Nothing too crazy happened. Happy hour took place everyday and it was pretty happy and slightly dizzying. . .people in Latin America love their drinks super strong. So a typical day involved waking up early with the sun, spending the morning at the bonita beach, going into town for lunch, headed back out for some more fun in the sun or hiking in the rainforests, out for dinner, a drink or 2, an amusing walk back to the hotel, followed by watching movies while sprawled out on our beds, pass out, repeat. Pura vida, indeed.

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